You Must Be Smart

It's weird to think about, but it's time I start focusing. The MEPN program begins in three weeks and the amount of change, work, growth, excitement and exhaustion that awaits me still doesn't feel real. The transition process has assisted the impending change to sink in. Friday was my last day of work and today I relished sleeping in (until 8:30 am) and then I had a fun day around the city, including going to SFMOMA. Methinks this won't happen as much over the summer, while in school. I (think I) have all my books for the summer quarter, which are lined up on my bookshelf as a bound reminder of: a) how much studying I will do, and b) how heavy my bag will be going to and from school. Last week was my final group fitness class at my Oakland gym...I really enjoyed the class and my instructor.  We talked after class and she asked where I was going to nursing school. When I said UCSF, she said "oh, you must be smart." That sort of hit me by surprise. But it did help me reconcile the internal process I have been on (for so long) to discern nursing is for me and gain acceptance to my 'dream' program with the impressions and assumptions others have about the profession and institution I am about to join. I do think that the UCSF School of Nursing will provide a really stimulating environment for learning and professional development. I also look forward to bonding with and learning from my classmates, many of whom seem very driven, motivated and excited. We apparently also have a "MEPN Buddy", someone who has already completed the MEPN year and can share with us helpful insights and strategies (like, "where is the bathroom" and "how do I do this program?").  Those will probably be some of my first questions whenever she or he (likely she, the program is 85%-90% female) contacts me. Until I hear from my buddy and begin orientation with a TB mask fitting, I will be enjoying my freedom and quieting my pre-MEPN anxieties by going to my homeland...the bucolic Midwest. I think the prairie and lakes will do me good and I'm glad I made the choice to go back home before this all starts. But, then again, I shouldn't be surprised; of course I planned it all out superbly. After all, I am smart.

Sticker Shock

This past weekend was sunny-warm in SF, the kind of weather that people who don't live in California think we have all the time (if you don't live in the Bay Area, in sum, it's foggy and cool mostly).  Some people I know spent the day picnicking, at the beach, at the park or otherwise outside.  I got CPR certified. It really is nothing to complain about.  The class seemed like one of those discount, not-too-serious formalities considering he didn't have most of the supplies (like infant dummies or breathing masks) and we got out 2 hours early.  It worked out because I've been certified bunches (I was a lifeguard after all) and his bare-bones class was sufficient for me.  Or so I say now.  Foreshadowing?  God, I hope not.  Anyway, at one point our instructor asked what "shock" was.  If I was still in my "Anatomy and Physiology consumes my every waking thought" year, I'd have regurgitated something about insufficient blood flow.  Instead, I immediately thought of my reaction to the MEPN cost of attendance notice.  Maybe for shits and giggles, or more likely because of UC budget problems and the general state of disarray that is the California budget, our fees went up.  Not like $1k or $2k as in previous years, but $7k.  I mean, at some point another $7k in loans seems inconsequential, but then I remember what I could buy with that extra $7k and I get a little resentful.  Fortunately, UCSF hosted some totally worthless funding seminar that provided the same information I read online (actually, the information they provided was wrong...gold stars all around!).  So, I already knew it.  Well, I knew the right information.  They made shit up.  I eventually got over my sticker shock though because I got to almost half my 'cost of living' loan thanks in (tiny) part to my savings but mostly because I live in a shoe box studio THAT I SHARE.  Whatever, we have a couch.  My shoe box is fly, like a G6.  Sort of.  The conclusion I came to is that I'll only eat recession-buster small plates and drink prison wine until I graduate.  Cheers!

PS. Happy Cinco de Mayo